On Luis Garcia:
“They (Liverpool) should put Garcia where he belongs – in the dustbin.”

On Djibril Cisse:
“here we have Cisse, right wing, attempts to put in a cross, BANG…hits the full back, again BANG hits the full back, BANG…off the full back again, and once more, BANG…smacks the full back again…. Millions of euro and he can’t clear the first man, I mean…what’s he trying to do to the full back here, Kill him??”

On Harry Kewell:
“Kewell should have been yanked off the pitch at half
time and put in a hot bath, a boiling hot bath.”
“Fat and a clown. A fat clown for all to see.”

On Rio Ferdinand:
“Ferdinand is a clown. He was a liability for the
first goal and he is always a liability. It was Jan Vennegoor of
Hesselink against Rio Ferdinand of Barclays Bank.”
“a tramp”

On Fabio Cannavarro:
“If Rio Ferdinand is worth £100,000 a week, then
this guy is worth €100 million . . . . . a day”

On Liam Brady (After Ireland lost a two goal lead against Holland in 1983):
“He is often looked on as a great player. He is nothing of the kind. His performance on Wednesday was a disgrace, a monument to conceit adorned with vanity and self-indulgence, rendered all the more objectional by the swagger of his gait. He was deemed by many observers to have had a splendid game.”

On Niall Quinn:
“I’m not gonna address the Niall Quinn agenda, Niall
Quinn is a creep”
“The man’s an idiot, a Mother Theresa”

On Barcelona:
“After watching Watford against Manchester City last night
that was like a bubblebath. It was beautiful.”

On Garth Crooks and Sven Goran Eriksson:
“ha, ha, ha, that’s the first time you’ll see sex between 2 men live on the BBC”

During the coverage of Euro 2004:
“You need dictatorships and poverty to produce great footballers.”

On Christiano Ronaldo:
the way Ronaldo “clicks his heels”, is the “most wicked thing in the game.” “a simple cheat” “Poof ball”

On Mick McCarthy:
“He’s one of the biggest whingers in world football… he’s a bloody eejit.”

On Kevin Kilbane:
“Kilbane’s head is better than his feet. If only he had three heads, one on the end of each leg.”

On John Giles:
“Usually it takes a bottle of Bacardi and a gallon of Coke to get John out of his seat.”

On Michael Carrick:
“Carrick was signed for Spurs a few years back for £3m. That’s the level he is at. He is a nothing player. He is one-paced. He doesn’t have the personality to always get on the ball like a United player should. ”

Before the Liverpool .v. Real Betis game at Anfield when Roy Keane announced his retirement from football Bill O’Herlihy stated that in the column about Roy a journalist called him a thug. Dunphy continued roaring at Bill asking him who’s column it was. Bill replied it was on the back page of the Sunday Times. “Look at it” he told Eamon. Eamon still pestered him asking who wrote it. Bill replied “I can’t remember his name”. Eamon continued saying:
“I’ll tell you who wrote it, Rod Liddle, he’s the guy who ran away and left his wife for a young one”.

On about the Fergie V Strachen feud:
Eamon: “Scots they’re either nice or they’re horrid and these two are horrid.
Bill: “The Scots wont like that Eamon, thats bordering on racism”.
Eamon: “Its not racism its ethnic criticism Bill”.

On the stubborn climate which exists in the board room at Real Madrid:

“Bill, Bill… those directors over there are on another planet. They’re on mushrooms or something…THEY’RE ON ACID BILL!!!”

On John Hartson:

‘Bill, Hartson is not a 7million pound player….its a disgrace, a shambles! This is the state of football today Bill. I have a clip here of why Hartson is NOT a £7million player….Roll it there Bill! (literally 1 second in to the clip) OKAY, HOLD IT THERE BILL!!! (draws a circle around Hartson’s arse) Bill, that is NOT the arse of a £7million player!”